I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
