my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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