there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
