You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
