he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize