that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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