Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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