you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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