For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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