Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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