Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
