I am puke
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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