Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
