Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
