I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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