The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
