My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green