I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
