It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
