i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
