I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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