Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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