Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
