No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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