they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
