I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize