you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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