My room smells like vodka and shame
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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