I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
