Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
