Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
