BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
