i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
