At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
