Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
