Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
