i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
