There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
only if we run a train.
done.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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