I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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