I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
