remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
People in love make me want to vomit
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
