Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
