I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
