When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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