I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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