sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
