She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My dick has a subreddit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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