You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
