He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
