I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
