Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
