I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize