Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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