I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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