Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
