I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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