you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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