I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
